"ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME" / FALSE. I'M JUDGING YOU RIGHT NOW.
A Dwight Schrute post.
"The weekend went so fast," says a colleague on Monday. "False," says the man by the printer. "It was 48 hours. Every weekend is 48 hours." He's right, and everyone dislikes him a little more. You ask the waiter for ice cold water. He's doing a philosophy degree. If it were ice cold, he points out, it would be ice. He brings a glass of water and a glass of ice, separately, so you can decide. Your nephew corrects you at your own birthday party. "It isn't your birthday. You were born once. This is the anniversary." He's eight. He'll go far, alone. On a date you say you could eat a horse. Your date points out that you couldn't, by weight, and starts working out how many days it would take. It's the most romantic thing anyone has done for you. **Why it caught on:** Rainn Wilson's Dwight Schrute, of the American version of The Office, corrects people with a flat "False." and a long, needless explanation. Everyone knows a person who takes figures of speech literally, and the worst part is when they're right.