[Verse: Lois Griffin] It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV [Bridge: Peter Griffin] But where are those good old-fashioned values.... [Bridge: The Griffins] On which we used to rely?! [Chorus: All] Lucky there's a family guy! Lucky there's a man who Positively can do All the things that make us... [Fill: Stewie Griffin] Laugh and cry! [Outro: All] He's our Family Guy!

A One Does Not Simply post.

One does not simply eat one crisp. You open the bag "just to have a few". You look down. The bag is empty and you're licking salt off a finger like a hunted animal. One does not simply pop into IKEA for a lamp. Two hours later you have a lamp, forty tea lights, a plant, a frying pan and a bin, and the lamp is the wrong one. One does not simply close one browser tab. There are 47. One of them is playing music. You don't know which. You never will. One does not simply leave your nan's. You say goodbye in the hall at 6. At 7:15 you're still there, holding a foil parcel of cake, hearing about the neighbour's hip. **Why it caught on:** in The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), Sean Bean's Boromir warns the Council of Elrond that "one does not simply walk into Mordor", circling his finger and thumb. In his voice any small chore becomes an epic quest, and most of them are.

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